Yesterday, I survived what would have been my 25th wedding anniversary with true equanimity, proving it possible to adapt, and heal in life.
In the late afternoon my daughter and I walked our dog to the park talking. Yes, I wish I were having a party celebrating my wedding anniversary, and it does make me sad that I do not have that. I wish I did. Many of my friends tell me that they can’t imagine not having their best friend and love by their side. Honestly, I can’t imagine having that, but I am grateful for what I do have. I have two beautiful daughters, a sweet dog, my very good health, my company Ocean SF and my teaching, a home, and the five sets of close friends within walking distances to it, a wonderful group of girl friends, college friends and grade school friends, and so much more.
I’ve been very lucky in the friendship department. Even as a child I was able to develop close and enduring friendships that have to this day stood the test of time. In the past few years since my husband died they have proved themselves time and time again. Often, I hear widows say that they found out who their real friends were when tragedy struck. I did not. I already knew who my friends were.
After dinner, we sit in our dining room working on the 1,000 piece puzzle that I gave to my younger daughter for Christmas. We listen to music and look at photo albums of my wedding so long ago.
Some people are surprised when they learn that I eloped. We were married on the South Shore of Lake Tahoe at Chapel of the Bells. It was just the two of us. I wore my red ski jacket and Levi 501 jeans. Friends that know me well understand this, and think it makes perfect sense. I love winter, snow and skiing. I did not like to be the center of attention then, and a big wedding was the worst thing I could imagine.
Without knowing it, on that day we drove past where our Tahoe house would later be built. Then, it was just undeveloped land with pine trees and a view of the backside of Lookout Mountain at Northstar Resort. This would later become the scene of our happiest family memories before and after my husband’s death.
Of all my blessings, I believe the most valuable is my resiliency. I’m a very optimistic person and this has given me the courage to overcome many of life’s obstacles. This in combination with my faith and it’s guiding force and comfort in my life have given me a calm in the face of many storms. Because of these things I’ve been able to continue to grow and thrive regardless of adversity.
We do not know what will come tomorrow and in many ways this is what provides the magic in life. We must take the good with the bad and continue to count our blessings. I’m living proof that there is always sunshine after rain.
Love and blessings to all.