Entrepreneurship & Tolerating Anxiety 

I’ll never give up and I’ll never back down. These are the words that ring inside my head, and keep me following my passion for being my own boss, and doing the work I love. 

When I started Ocean SF in the spring of 2016, I had no idea how hard it would be, all I really knew was that I could talk about it endlessly, and when I did, it literally made my heart pound. 

As I move along this path, I grow more passionate about it, and not less. The deeper I get into sustainability, water purity, and technologically advanced natural fabrics, and design, the more I love it. 

In recent weeks, my email has been flooded with notes from the head hunters I’ve worked with in the past. There are lots of jobs in San Francisco for product managers and business analysts. On some days, when I’m stressed and overwhelmed by the myriad of obstacles and the sheer amount of work involved in running a company, these jobs start to look attractive. Well paying, and conveniently located a quick train ride away, a job like this could solve my most pressing problems.  I wouldn’t have to worry about the million things involved, and the 10 million ways to fail, in a start up venture.

Long ago, I read that the most important thing I could teach my daughter’s was how to tolerate anxiety.  For a long time I worked on this. When both my daughters had gold times in competitive swimming, I knew I had achieved that goal. I would watch them standing on the block in the freezing cold waiting for the gun to go off to start the race. Their faces reflected both the focus and determination required to win.

Now, it’s my turn and I’m the one on the block focused and determined. 

Being an entrepreneur takes tremendous courage. Believing in your own unique vision and putting your money where your mouth is can be undeniably stressful. Working at a job is comparatively low risk. 

Starting a company and funding it is even more terrifying than my sky dive in 1992. But it has many comparisons. I remember standing in the doorway of the plane getting ready to jump. I was thinking, I don’t have to do this. I wondered how would I feel if I didn’t jump? I knew I would feel horrible. The alternative I knew would feel amazing. So, I jumped and it was a feeling like no other. 

Someday, all of this will be behind me and I will no longer feel like I’m sitting in the trenches as bombs explode around me.  Someday, I’ll just be a clothing designer with a successful adventurewear brand. And all of this will simply be a story I tell.

Until then, love and blessings to all. 

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