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I lost my husband two weeks ago. And even though no marriage is perfect and ours certainly was not, I am finding the pain intense and almost unbearable. I look back at the photo above and remember the hope and promise of the early years and my heart literally breaks in two.  There are no words to describe how it felt to drive with my younger daughter 15, to find my older daughter 17, so I could break the news to them together.  My precious Siena was texting and playing music while tears streamed down my face.  She looked so happy and I knew my words would change her life forever.

Now I wake at 5:00 a.m. and for a brief moment I don’t remember what happened, and I think it is just another normal day.  I can hear the birds chirping and my little piece of heaven awakening beyond my window, and then I remember.

The days ahead will be difficult, but I look forward to them, and one day waking in the morning without crying.

Rest in peace my dear.  You are in my prayers.

5 thoughts on “Loss

  1. Peace be with you.


  2. I am so very deeply sorry for your loss. You and your children will be in my thoughts and prayers..


  3. Beautiful words during a not-so-beautiful moment in your life. Sending you hugs, Sydney.


  4. Sydney,
    I’m extremely sorry for your loss. I feel your pain and this brought me to tears. Wishing you peace and finding joy again. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the girls! xoxo


  5. Judith Lee Scott August 14, 2016 — 2:47 am

    Dearest Sydney, Such a heartfelt entry. Your family was always 1 of my top favorites and I cherish the times we spent together,especially our ski trip at your beautiful home in Tahoe.
    As I told you before,I so miss more of your presence in my life, we always think “Oh I’ll call them tomorrow” then something tragic like this happens. Please contact me ANY time, hate to sound trite, but “I’m there for you girlfriend” Keep your special memories in your heart and know things will get better when they are supposed to.
    Big hugs to you and your beautiful girls, Judith

    Liked by 1 person

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