Emotional Atomic Bomb

I’ve lost both of my parents, and several friends, but nothing could have prepared me for the emotional atomic bomb that the sudden death of my husband caused.  I am still pulling shards of glass from my heart.

In the past, I had heard that divorce is like a death, but death doesn’t allow you to sit next to each other at a soccer game, and negotiate who will pick up from the Homecoming dance. Although, divorces can be devastating, they don’t leave your children permanently fatherless.

As I walk along this path, I think I should be doing better than I am, that so many things shouldn’t bring me to tears.  But at the same time, this is the person who held my hand when I had a baby. We spent twenty five years together, most of them good.

Recently, the girls like to hear stories about their dad, my daughter asked me what we talked about when we were dating.  I told her, we talked about everything, but what I remember most was the sound of his voice. He had a very slight Texan accent and a very soft way of talking, and he was wicked funny in an unexpected sort of way, one that you had to wait for. The girls have this same sense of humor.

So, maybe it’s ok if I’m taking my time getting over this.  It’s going to take as long as it’s going to take.