In August, I held two ideas closely in my mind. One, of pure fear and the other, of peace. I was scared as hell, but had a complete sense of certainty that I would be fine, and so would my children.
I have to admit this was a very difficult place to be. Holding these two contradicting forces in my mind was extremely draining giving me many sleepless nights as I struggled to make the wisest and most practical decisions.
My fear was pushing me in one direction and my heart in the other. As each terrifying day brought more unforeseen problems, I began to feel that the safe path was not necessarily the safest route.
And then there was the fact that if my husband could die without warning, at his desk on a random Monday, then truly anything could happen anytime, to anyone.
I could finally understand why after my own father died, when I was nine years old, my mother sold everything and moved into a rented duplex in Salem, Oregon for four years. I knew how that story ended, and that being safe isn’t the same thing as being secure.
I came to a point where I had to trust my intuition or my fear. So, by the end of the summer, with the encouragement of some very smart people, I committed myself to building Ocean SF with Andrew, staying in my Moraga home, keeping my second home in Tahoe, and skiing with my daughters.
Last week, my business partner and I had several important meetings for Ocean SF. We are fortunate to have experienced advisors, Craig Nomura, who took Gap into Asia, Seth Freeman of EM Capital, and Mike Hession, a senior level operations executive with a string of success stories. We are nearing launch for Ocean SF and it is going better than I could have dreamed possible.
As the days progress, I realize life is like a moving train that doesn’t stop at the station and give you time to collect your belongings. You have to jump on board with your screaming baby or be left behind.