In the beginning, we were simply, in shock. And the disbelief softened the edges of the blow. This is natural, and thankfully so. The six month mark was possibly the most difficult. The grey days of January were short and the reality settled in creating some of my darkest hours. But because of my prayers, I knew exactly what to do.
During the first days, I watched my children watching me, and I knew if I was ok they would be too. I had a whispered conversation one morning with my older daughter telling her she had to get up and go to school and set a good example for her little sister. She nodded silently, and went on to set an excellent example. Each morning I made hot chocolate and the exact same lunches as I made in grade school. Turkey sandwiches, chips and zip locks of sliced apples and cookies. No variations.Predictable.
One day at a time, day after day. If I’m ok, Paris is ok, if she’s ok, Siena is ok and if they are both doing well then I’m ok. Day after day, in a never ending, circle.
Now, Paris is off to college and we are on our last Spring break. And, it is starting to look like it will all be ok.