As my days become peaceful again, and my heart heals, I realize how difficult this year has been. For many months it was so horrific that it didn’t feel that bad, I simply endured one day after another. As I go through my days, I am finding notes I don’t remember writing, and I have no clue where I’ve put somethings, like a set of car keys, missing in the house no less, since September. And usernames and passwords, for most I have no recall whatsoever. It’s as if another person was walking through these many sorrowful days. These are the obvious effects of sudden loss and trama.
Being lost in your own life is no small thing, and I suspect many people survive in this state for a very long time. I believe this was the case for my Mother after my father died, but for me, I have been blessed with many kind people and my loving community to hold me up. My inner circle has watched over me tenderly, and my business coach Brigette and business partner Andrew have kept me moving forward with my work.
After months of walking around like a ghost, it feels so good to come back to myself and get things done. I’m teaching at UC Berkeley, working on my company Ocean SF, and our nonprofit The Trident Project, and am truly enjoying planning my days. My life is no longer something to get through and endure. I wake up looking forward to the beautiful day I have before me. And I am so very thankful.
Love and blessings to all.
Sydney 