The loss of my husband in July, after a rocky season in our marriage, has given me much to reflect upon. And I want to be clear, being soft does not equal weakness. Allowing myself to be sentimental, and feel my grief, has often been excruciating, but it was necessary to move on from the past and begin to create the happy future I will one day have.
In someways, this has been an opportunity to test my strength and find my courage. It has given me valuable insight into the people around me, what I have time for, what I will tolerate, and what I will allow into my life.
When you are vulnerable, it’s easy to see who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. And no one who demonstrates their disinterest in my well being will hold a place my life. There are no exceptions.
I made many sacrifices to be the wife and mother I wanted to be. At the time, there was no way to reconcile the 100+ hours a week being a Director of Marketing in the technology world required. There was no flexibility, I was required to be there, all day and everyday, and often on weekends. Because of this steep cliff, for several years, I was a stay at home wife and mother, with a small consulting company on the side. I was what my children call a “House Mom” like a “House Cat” and I allowed others to underestimate my value and worth. As hard as I worked to launch a software product nothing compared to the 24/7 demands of motherhood and creating the exceptionally warm and loving home we still to this day share.
I have no regrets as my children are proof that my time was well spent, but I must say, I am enjoying stepping back into my power, both professionally and personally.
Love and blessings to all.
Sydney 