Having it All & Last on The List

Recently, I’ve been looking at the analytics on my website. Last on The List is the most viewed post, followed by Betrayal.

I wonder what is it about these topics that pulls people in? Is there something unifying in these experiences, that make my readers feel less alone?

As mothers and wives, I believe we do suddenly find ourselves overwhelmed with the myriad of duties required of the modern woman. I remember finding myself alone for twelve or so hours with a new born, and a two year old. I had a five bedroom house and an acre of gardens, and since I was “lucky” enough, to be able to stay home, I had no help. None. I took the babies to Home Depot and bought a lawn mower. I assembled it in the family room while watching over the kids, then mowed the lawn at nap time. This went on for a few years!

I cleaned the house, I started a business, I threw amazing dinner parties.  I weighted 117 lbs.  my husband went to work as before, and kept his Saturday tee time at the Country Club.

The words, “having it all, means doing it all,” became the motto I lived by. When I took a marketing consulting assignment at Wells Fargo Corporate in San Francisco, it felt like a vacation. Riding Bart, sitting in meetings, working quietly at my desk comparatively was an extracurricular activity, like a hobby. 

Since we didn’t need the money, my husband would call me and tell me to quit. He would ask, “why did you have children if you didn’t want to take care of them?” Even though, I loved my work and the sense of accomplishment, and independence it brought, I acquiescenced.

So, now I’ve had 10 months alone, and I am, with the exception of providing a warm, safe and nurturing home for my teenage daughters, first on my list.

I’m not going to lie, it feels pretty good.

Love and blessings to all.

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