For a myriad of reasons, before my husband died, I would tolerate toxic relationships in my life. Sometimes, I would think this person really pushes me to be better, when in reality, they were just putting me down, or I would think, I had to tolerate spiteful comments, and disrespectful treatment, because our daughters were friends, or this person was a relative.
After my husband died, my heart was so raw, I could only be near my dearest and sweetest friends and family. I could no longer listen to someone tell me not to be so sensitive, when I called them on their bad behavior, or listen to them apologize for the same things, again and again. With my heart broken, I allowed no discussion, I simply notified them, and swiftly removed them from my life. At first, I thought, I’ll get back to them later, but now that I know how liberating it feels to surround myself with only loving people, I may never let them back into my life.
To allow myself to be only treated with respect and tenderness, has been an amazing gift to myself, and what an enormously positive impact it has had on my life as a whole.
Initially, there was the fear, that if I kept tossing people out of my life, I would end up very much alone, but this has proven unfounded, and the reverse has been true. I have more friends now than ever before.
I still find myself overwhelmed sometimes, and my life really can be busy with, a business and nonprofit to run, classes to teach, two teenagers, a dog, two cats and a rabbit, but my inner circle is tranquil, and my days are gradually becoming more and more, peaceful and calm.
Love and blessings to all.
Sydney 