A friend of mine did the Pacific Cup race to Hawaii double handed, meaning sailing with one other crew member. There are longer races, and solo, but still it’s weeks on the water covering your shift on your own. So, I couldn’t help but ask what it felt like to spend so much time alone day after day with the sun, and the stars, and the wind?
For myself, I know I would be very much changed by spending that much time at sea. I think about my recent past, and all the time I’ve had to myself. It’s been luxurious to spend my evenings reading, or writing, or out with friends. It has been years and years since I’ve had this much time to think and dream and plan. It’s been my greatest joy to have two sets of colored pencils next to my bed to highlight passages from the books I read or to plot out the next few years in pie charts segmented by quarter and color coded.
I’ve learned so much about myself in the past two years. I’ve learned to really love myself in a way I never knew was possible. There have been many ups and downs of course, but I’ve learned to stay the course no matter what happened. This is a wonderful feeling. It gives me a great deal of self trust.
I’ve learned I love maps. Or, charts as they are called in the sailing world. I love plotting a course and navigation. I’m constantly adding to my knowledge of the world.
My friend the sailor looked at me with eyes of the palest green and clear like a calm sea, and told me, “We’re all just stardust, Sydney.”
As the days go by and I watch all of the things I most hoped for come to fruition I believe it’s true.
Love and blessings to all.