You Can’t Fix Other People

After my husband died my councilor told me that I needed to file a restraining order against a family member. She said, “I know this isn’t what you want to hear.” And it certainly was not. I wanted to believe that it was my fault, because if it was my fault, I could find a way to make it better, and fix it, but you can’t fix another person.

Later, that day, I went to see my lawyer, and my lawyer told me I had a civil case against her, as well. Turns out you can’t lie, or give false information on federal documents, or pretend to be someone you are not when talking to government employees. This is a crime that is punishable by law.

In the end, I chose not to do these things.

In this situation, and the many before it, my own goodness worked against me, because I could not conceive of doing anything to harm another human being, so I made excuses for this person, thinking none of this could have possibly been done on purpose. But, the harm she caused, and the actions she took were very real, having far reaching consequences.

On this journey, I have learned to trust myself, and listen to my instinicts, and I am no longer afraid to take action to protect myself, and my children.

And when this year is over, and I have found a resting place, for my husband, I will not look back.

Love and blessings to all.

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