The days are winding down until my daughter leaves for college. I know she’s ready, so I don’t have the normal anxiety of letting go, because I know she will be fine. Still, there is this shadow around her leaving.
Its difficult to not think of this as an ending to the journey we have been on together. I think about the day she came into the world, and now in a few days, I will be walking away from her, leaving her behind. This seems like an impossibility no matter how much I have prepared for it.
There have been too many endings this summer, and I see this as true because my sixteen year old has been very close these last days. She is on my heels as I walk around the house, she peers into the rooms I am sitting in as I work. I ask her what she needs, and she tells me nothing, and walks away.
We’ve always thought of our beautiful two story traditional home as our fifth family member. We are each attached to it and it’s light filled rooms, and the many memories we’ve shared together here. Soon, it will be just two of us, but I am hoping that the space that is left behind will be filled with something new.
The possibilities are endless of course: a foreign exchange student, a foster child, or maybe more friends and visitors. My life during this past chapter has been lived beyond this house; I’ve spent my time out in the world, or on boats, or in Tahoe.
I’m now looking forward to being home again, and my life opening up once more, and seeing simply what life will bring to me without my having to look for it.
Love and blessings to all.